I overheard a conversation in the gym locker room recently, the lady said “I worry so much about what people think. Do they think i’m fat, old, ugly? I constantly kick myself, thinking did I say the wrong thing? Did I take the wrong approach with that? What do they think of me? I hate how self conscious I am, but I constantly worry about how I appear to others.” My flippant answer as I was rushing out the door was “People will view you the way you view yourself. So if you think YOU are confident and beautiful, than other people will too.” Good advice maybe, but a little watered down. In retrospect this is what I wish I’d shared......
We would worry less about what other’s think of us, if we realized how seldom they do.
Yes, unfortunately, gossip is a reality and quite possibly you’ve been the subject before. But don’t assume that you’re constantly being judged. Your self consciousness stems from the idea that you’re so important that everyone is concerned with, and critiquing your every move. It’s awfully self absorbed to think that way. Carly Simon has a song that states “you're so vain, you probably think this song is about you!” It’s vanity to assume you’re so important that people would devote time and energy to analyzing your appearance, your actions and your social graces. You’re not the center of attention all the time. That may seem harsh, but it’s meant well. :)
People are primarily selfish. Just a cold reality. Often they’re more wrapped up in their own existence, their cares,and insecurities to worry about yours. Yes people will make quick judgements, but no one is criticizing your every move except......you!!
Sometimes, you are your greatest enemy.
Yes it’s important to analyze your actions and understand your faults and weaknesses, but only if it’s for positive change and growth.
Another thought..... people who are so concerned about who’s watching, attract even less attention than others because they’re so concerned with fitting in that they take it too far. They begin to disappear! Within their minds, however, they still believe they’re being judged. What a sad existence! Constantly fearful of looking the wrong way, saying or doing the wrong thing, when the truth is, they’re the only ones who notice. Self consciousness does something terrible, it destroys the unique individual, and all thats left is just another person struggling for recognition and acclaim, yet never getting there because they’re afraid of it.