All of us have painful experiences from our past, perhaps we were bullied at school, or lost a loved one, or even something as simple as a rude comment can be very hurtful Sometimes in our efforts to be strong and protect ourselves, we fail to process those experiences. At that time, we don’t have the capacity to logically reason through how we feel while we’re in those circumstances. So we batten down the hatches, and do our best to wait out the emotional storm.Then once it’s over, we do our best to forget it ever happened. We want to get on with our lives and avoid reliving the experience by dragging it up again after it’s over.
The danger in doing that is: all unresolved issues will come up again.
In order for us to be healthy, whole individuals, we need to work through our past and come to terms with it. That can involve having difficult conversations, confronting people from your past, or that could merely be you sitting down and talking about how you feel, what you experienced, and how you will choose to deal with the pain and baggage that created.
You may not have had control over those circumstances, but you have the control now to be strong and to face your past, and to not let it affect your future. This is a painful, difficult, and often ugly process. But you either avoid your past and become handicapped by it, or you face your past and become freed from it.