If life were a game...

It wouldn't be a game where you roll the dice, cross your fingers and hope that you succeed. It would be more like a game of cards- you take the hand that was dealt and skillfully execute it, knowing that with the right strategy in place you can win with any hand. 

Help Wanted: Cheerleaders for Adults

Little children have many cheerleaders in their life. They are showered with affection and words of praise when they have even the smallest victory or breakthrough. We encourage and love them with our words and actions all the time. We know how to be excited for kid’s accomplishments, but somehow we forget to transfer that encouraging attitude to adults. ‘Big people’ don’t need praise to that extent, but every small improvement (work life attitude etc) should at least be noticed, and appreciated. Be generous with your words of praise. Cheer on some ‘grownup’ today who deserves a little extra recognition.  

The Chief Fan of Your Potential

He had warm eyes, a firm  handshake and a great  laugh. He laughed often and infectiously. He had a way of presenting an idea (no matter how profound) as though it just came to him in that moment. He was professional with a touch of humor and familiarity. “Always a pleasure Miss Bethany”  This was  my  mentor Jeff Newland.

He didn't see people as they were, he saw them for what they could be. He was truly:

"The Chief Fan of Your Potential"

A note from Jeff to me:

Bethany, I think in the future you will still be dreaming of incredible things… but I think they will be the incredible things that others fortunate enough to know you will be seeking to accomplish with your support and wisdom. You will care about those things like you care about what you’re doing right now. Remember to surround yourself with people who need you to be at your unique and special best. Keep going Bethany.. I love what’s coming.

At that time, my focus was personal excellence. I wanted to be as close to excellence in every area of my life as I could be. I wanted to be smart and successful,  to create a great life for myself, and achieve all my goals. Those weren’t wrong ambitions, but there was something missing in this perfect little life….

Other people.

Now quite a few months later, I know what he was talking about in that note.

A star wants to see himself rise to the top, while a leader wants to see those around him rise to the top. -Simon Sinek

I want to introduce you to the new “Miss Bethany”

I believe when individuals with potential are convinced of the possibilities of their value, they will take action to reach their greatness.

I purposefully champion individuals with potential.

 Jeff not only saw that I was capable of giving that to others, he did that for me. He showed me my potential and supported my growth.

What a beautiful gift: To believe in someone until she believes in herself.

Thanks to a wise and caring individual, I had the guidance I needed to take steps toward  becoming my best self, in order to give my best to others.

My wish for you, is that you too can understand your unique value and feel supported to bring that to the world.

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” -Edmund Lee

What should teenagers be doing?

The teens and 20’s are the best time to build the foundation that will be needed for a successful life.These are not the years to waste. Teenagers need to be mentored and learning practical skills. They should get internships, shadow careers, and volunteer to work on projects for free. Have them take every opportunity (especially while they have limited responsibilities) to be in their fields of interest and learning hands-on skills. Teach them they don’t need to wait to have a “real job” to work their craft.

Words from John Cusak

Say anything- one of the sweetest chick flicks from the 90’s. The character Lloyd’s older sister is slamming things around in the kitchen and Lloyd asks her “how hard is it to be happy? How hard is it to just decide to be happy”  The moment slips by and the movie continues, but that's actually a great question.

How hard is it to decide to be happy? To halt your negative thoughts and choose to dwell on what is good and lovely. How hard is it to change your mind and decide that you won't have a bad day just because it started out that way. Two people looking at the same circumstance can have very different emotions regarding it. Most often it’s a choice.

Why it’s alright to cheat on your “diet”

You shouldn’t beat yourself up if you have one meal without all the nutrients you need. The healthiest mindset is for you to recognize that you’re going to be eating healthy for the rest of your life. It’s a lifestyle, not a month long quick fix. And consistency is what’s going to get you where you want to be.

That one meal won’t make or break your healthy lifestyle. But when you consistently eat unhealthy meals it will.

Small things add up, and the more consistent you can become with feeding yourself good foods, the closer you will be to your health goals

What are your yellow shoes?

Is there something that defines you when life is happy? That says to the world “all is well”? For some it’s whistling, or singing. Or maybe its cranking up the tunes in the car; A certain facial expression; a certain way of walking. Well for me, its high heels. Most days you can find me clicking my way through life in some fun, fancy pair of shoes. Those cheery yellow platforms almost say that I’m having a good day.

What about you? What are your “yellow shoes?”

Why Woman Stay

Love is powerful, and can be a marvelous thing, but it can also destroy you. Domestic violence is so disturbing that even those of us hardened by gruesome battle scenes from movies, when we see violence from a man to a woman he supposedly loves depicted on screen, we are repulsed and shocked. Man was designed to protect, to be strong, fearless and powerful. Those were assets he was given to bestow his love and protection on the weaker frame of a female. That’s why we all love the old romantic movies where the hero races after the damsel in distress to rescue her. We love to see men use their power for good.

Yet those gifts are sometimes twisted, and distorted into something horrifying. When a man turns those forces toward the woman that trusted him to protect her, that’s sickening.

There are many woman who are victims of this, and yet they stay with the man who hurts them. It seems baffling, but then I heard a woman who was physically abused for years give a speech. What she said cleared up the mystery of why woman continue to endure abuse.  She said “I didn’t think I was abused. I thought; this is a sick man, and I’m the only one who can help him.” She loved him so much that she was trying to help him while he was destroying her.

Sadly, this thinking although it’s clearly self deceiving and incorrect, it isn’t uncommon. There are many more women just like her. Women who are afraid to stand up for themselves, afraid to betray their loved one and afraid to move on to a better life.

We pity them, but we can do more than that. We can help these women by working to educate and empower them; educate so they’ll have the wisdom to leave, and empower so they’ll have the courage to.

 

“That’s none of my business”

A daughter sat complaining to her mother about an argument she was having with her father. When she asked if her mother would intervene and work out the situation for her, her mother said “Honey, that’s none of my business.” This seems harsh but in actuality it was a very wise decision. She would have done her daughter a disservice if she had gone and smoothed things over with her father. The mother could have created peace and resolved the issue, but the two players were the father and daughter. If someday the mother weren’t there, the two would never have learned to communicate or resolve their issues because their mediator was missing.

Oftentimes it is best to stay out of arguments that aren’t our own. We can give advice and counsel, but we should never do all the work to create peace. We start to enable those who are having the problems, and they begin to rely on us to fix them. Once that happens the tendency will be to get dragged into all the arguments and those we love will never learn to work through their own problems with each other.

Clarification about Exercise

Working out is not painful, it's uncomfortable. There's a difference between discomfort and pain. Pain is when you dislocate your shoulder, or scrape your knee. Discomfort is when your heart rate is up, and you are sweaty and tired. Pain is when you burn your hand, discomfort is when your muscles are sore and shaky.

Pain is your body is sending signals that something is dangerous and hurtful to your body. Working out is generally not dangerous or harmful, so we can come to the conclusion that the feelings we experience are not those of pain, but instead those of discomfort.

Learning the distinction can help a lot with training. We can recognize when we are not working hard enough and when we are overdoing it.

Trivia Time!

Did you know that a meteor becomes a meteorite only when it hits the ground? Did you know that an old fashioned lawnmower blade cuts the grass while our newer tractors actually whack the grass?

Did you know Celery has negative calories? It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has to begin with.

Sometimes its just fun to learn about the world we live in.

Dunbar’s Number

Dunbar’s number is a theory that you can only maintain meaningful connections or relationships with no more than 150 people. Dunbar’s number refers to the people you know and keep in social contact with. Those would generally be the meaningful connections that you make.

This is a freeing concept because often we are overwhelmed by all the people that we know and feeling obligated to maintain all those relationships. Quite honestly though (and according to Dunbar’s number theory) if we only have the capacityfor 150 meaningful connections, then a lot of the people we encounter won’t actually be important in our lives, and that’s okay. That allows for us to truly love those that we are with and not be worrying about countless others at the same time.

She took a chance on you

I once heard someone say that having a child is like having a piece of your heart walk outside of your body. What a picture of how closely a mother’s life is intwined with her child’s! There is very little that compares to the grief a mother experiences when her baby is struggling. She is fiercely protective of her child, and every hurt he experience, hurts her still more. If he chooses to make bad decisions that break her heart, it’s like watching her own body self destruct and having no power to stop it.

Having a child is saying yes to many wonderful things like life and joy, yet also saying yes to the possibility of heartbreak. We should all recognize and appreciate the risk that our mother took when she decided to take a chance on sacrifice, worry, and hurt, to bring you into the world.

Has it been a good gamble for her?

Money and values

Cars, boats, houses, clothing, antiques, gaming equipment. How we spend our money is often an emotional decision. When buy something, it’s because we feel it will make us happier, more successful, perceived better by others etc. At least one of our values are being appealed to, and that’s why we buy. A common phrase is “look at where people spend their money, and you will see what they value”

Do your purchases line up with what you say you value?