Keep an open mind and heart

No conflict is ever isolated. All our past conflicts with that person, and our past experiences usually color our perception of that new disagreement. As we argue with our loved one, if in the past she’s been insensitive, we’ll automatically project that character flaw onto her. And it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.  We become entrenched in our own thinking; convinced that she’ll act as before. Then because we convinced ourselves, even if her words aren’t glaringly insensitive, it’s still easier to attribute her words and actions to the motives we assigned her rather than giving her a fresh start and perhaps needing to change our mind.

It’s difficult to change our mind about someone, but past mistakes should not determine future conversations. We must give her the benefit of the doubt that she’ll handle this conversation differently than previous ones. If we keep an open mind and heart, this will allow space for understanding and resolution to the conflict.

Why You Should Listen to Your Hair Dresser

Why do hair stylists ask the question “How would you like your hair cut today?” I’m incredulous that we as clients determine what style, cut and color we’d like. The stylists are the ones who spent a couple years in cosmetology school learning the art behind it. They’re obviously going to know what looks best.

Because you’re their customer though, you dictate what happens. Unfortunately for those of us who have never picked up a pair of scissors or a hair styling book, we are worse than amateurs. We have almost no experience or expertise in this area. It’s almost like allowing a toddler to dress himself! We have a vague idea of what will look good, but we fail to take in all aspects. What may be stunning on Jennifer Lopez, may be dreadful on you. Getting into the world of color and highlights can have even more disastrous consequences! I’m convinced that’s why there’s so many “skunk hair” highlights and chop jobs out there. Cuts, Colors, Highlights, those we should leave up to the experts in the business. I’m guessing if we were to allow our hair stylists a little more freedom to be creative, they wouldn’t disappoint. Give it a try! Next time, ask your hair stylist what THEY would like to do with your hair!