Ignore the rest

Schedule your priorities, don’t prioritize your schedule.

There's just too much to do. There will always be lots of opportunities, fun events going on and menial tasks to do. There's always another room to vacuum, another email to send, another networking event to attend. But we need to be doing those things that are important and ignore the rest.

We need to consciously avoid spending time on things that aren’t furthering our goals.

We all complain about not enough time, not enough energy and too much to do. Well the solution is simple. Do less.

That doesn’t mean you stop being as effective, that just means you channel the limited amount of time and energy you have into the most important things. You can still be just as effective in a smaller range of activities and projects.

Is this your final decision?

We dance at the starting line forever. We stand cautiously weighing the risk, the cost, and wanting to make the perfect decision before starting something.

We feel like a man jumping off a building. Once we jump, there's no going back. We can’t change, we can’t stop, we must see whatever we start to completion. This can cause a lot of anxiety and inaction. We feel like this is the final decision, and the only one we get to make.

But that's flawed thinking. The beauty is that we can be flexible. We can change mid sentence, redirect our course, or stop all together. Action even in the wrong direction is better than no action at all. If its no longer a good goal, we can let it go.

But when you stand, contemplate, consider and let everything swirl around in your brain. When you make no move towards starting until you know exactly where you are going, and know you're going to get there, you will start very few things.

Starting is clarifying: Once you have started something, you can have a more realistic picture of what it actually entails to finish the project. You'll realize whether you're still passionate about the project, whether it has value and whether you should continue.

Starting helps you to gain momentum. If you wait too long to start something, the excitement will die off, which you could have used to catapult yourself closer to success. You can spend a lot of valuable time and energy planning and thinking about starting your goal instead of putting that energy towards actually creating.

Also, the mental energy of thinking about something can be more daunting than actually doing it. When you have ideas swirling around in your brain that you aren’t taking action on, that doesn’t mean you aren’t still working on them. You are expending energy thinking about them which is the exact energy you would be using to actually do it! It's terribly inefficient and steals your productivity.

Of course planning is incredibly valuable, but too much planning can paralyze you to action. And then what good is a plan if you don’t put it into motion? All it is are words on a paper; dust bunnies collecting as proof that you didn’t have the gumption to start your dreams.

It's worse to have a dream and not do anything about it, then to not even have a dream.

So get started. Stop waiting for the perfect alignment of your thoughts, your plans and your circumstances.

What's Your Capacity?

This is a truth that revolutionized my life. "Humans only have the ability to make a certain number of good decisions per day." When you are tired, your cognitive brain doesn't function as well, and you start to make bad decisions. By that point you've exhausted your mental capacity for that day. That's why a lot of binge eating happens late at night, that's why when you get home after a hard day you order takeout for dinner. So the solution is, not to resign yourself and just make bad decisions, but to limit the number of decisions you have to make each day by setting systems and habits in place.

Hopefully, now that you're aware that you are literally burning up brain cells deliberating, you may spend less time and energy on things that could be put on autopilot. Try implementing routines that create habits, so you automatically make good decisions, and never run out of brain power!

The Truth About What People Think of You

I overheard a conversation in the gym locker room recently, the lady said “I worry so much about what people think. Do they think i’m fat, old, ugly? I constantly kick myself, thinking did I say the wrong thing? Did I take the wrong approach with that? What do they think of me? I hate how self conscious I am, but I constantly worry about how I appear to others.” My flippant answer as I was rushing out the door was “People will view you the way you view yourself. So if you think YOU are confident and beautiful, than other people will too.” Good advice maybe, but a little watered down. In retrospect this is what I wish I’d shared......

We would worry less about what other’s think of us, if we realized how seldom they do.

Yes, unfortunately, gossip is a reality and quite possibly you’ve been the subject before. But don’t assume that you’re constantly being judged. Your self consciousness stems from the idea that you’re so important that everyone is concerned with, and critiquing your every move. It’s awfully self absorbed to think that way. Carly Simon has a song that states “you're so vain, you probably think this song is about you!” It’s vanity to assume you’re so important that people would devote time and energy to analyzing your appearance, your actions and your social graces. You’re not the center of attention all the time. That may seem harsh, but it’s meant well. :)

People are primarily selfish. Just a cold reality. Often they’re more wrapped up in their own existence, their cares,and insecurities to worry about yours. Yes people will make quick judgements, but no one is criticizing your every move except......you!!

Sometimes, you are your greatest enemy.

Yes it’s important to analyze your actions and understand your faults and weaknesses, but only if it’s for positive change and growth.

Another thought..... people who are so concerned about who’s watching, attract even less attention than others because they’re so concerned with fitting in that they take it too far. They begin to disappear! Within their minds, however, they still believe they’re being judged. What a sad existence! Constantly fearful of looking the wrong way, saying or doing the wrong thing, when the truth is, they’re the only ones who notice. Self consciousness does something terrible, it destroys the unique individual, and all thats left is just another person struggling for recognition and acclaim, yet never getting there because they’re afraid of it.