The Chief Fan of Your Potential

He had warm eyes, a firm  handshake and a great  laugh. He laughed often and infectiously. He had a way of presenting an idea (no matter how profound) as though it just came to him in that moment. He was professional with a touch of humor and familiarity. “Always a pleasure Miss Bethany”  This was  my  mentor Jeff Newland.

He didn't see people as they were, he saw them for what they could be. He was truly:

"The Chief Fan of Your Potential"

A note from Jeff to me:

Bethany, I think in the future you will still be dreaming of incredible things… but I think they will be the incredible things that others fortunate enough to know you will be seeking to accomplish with your support and wisdom. You will care about those things like you care about what you’re doing right now. Remember to surround yourself with people who need you to be at your unique and special best. Keep going Bethany.. I love what’s coming.

At that time, my focus was personal excellence. I wanted to be as close to excellence in every area of my life as I could be. I wanted to be smart and successful,  to create a great life for myself, and achieve all my goals. Those weren’t wrong ambitions, but there was something missing in this perfect little life….

Other people.

Now quite a few months later, I know what he was talking about in that note.

A star wants to see himself rise to the top, while a leader wants to see those around him rise to the top. -Simon Sinek

I want to introduce you to the new “Miss Bethany”

I believe when individuals with potential are convinced of the possibilities of their value, they will take action to reach their greatness.

I purposefully champion individuals with potential.

 Jeff not only saw that I was capable of giving that to others, he did that for me. He showed me my potential and supported my growth.

What a beautiful gift: To believe in someone until she believes in herself.

Thanks to a wise and caring individual, I had the guidance I needed to take steps toward  becoming my best self, in order to give my best to others.

My wish for you, is that you too can understand your unique value and feel supported to bring that to the world.

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” -Edmund Lee

Don't rationalize your dreams

Part 2. "Be brutally honest with your present circumstances and wildly unrealistic about your future."

Thanks to Jon Acuff for this quote that I've been thinking about.

"Be wildly unrealistic about your future. "

We've been taught not to dream too big, not to expect to ever be more than what we already are. We plan and "dream" about having a good corporate job but wouldn't dare to think we could be anything beyond that.

The truth is, we are capable of much more than we allow ourselves think. We can reach seemingly impossible goals, and fulfill our dreams. It will take a lot to get there, but it's possible. "Anything's possible"

But greatness doesn't happen by chance.  It is chased, and planned for and dreamed about.

If you never try to get there or even THINK of getting there, you certainly won’t. So be honest about where you are at presently, but dream big about where you can be.

We have to allow ourselves to dream

What we have to learn to do is separate ourselves from our present circumstances and where we want to be. We have to isolate our dreams and realize it will take a lot of work to get there, but it is possible for us to do amazing things.

If you never dream big, then you have most DEFINITELY cut yourself off from ever doing anything big.

Are we there yet?

How will you know that you have arrived if you never knew what your destination looked like? The answer is, you won’t.

We all have goals, and dreams we are looking to achieve and an idea of the person we want to become. We may casually think about it, or possibly even ruthlessly pursue it.

But as we are moving forward, if we fail to contemplate where we came from, and how much we have grown, we always feel like we aren’t reaching our goals and we aren’t the person we want to be. We never feel closer, because we don’t know how far we’ve come. So sometimes its necessary to look back in order to see the path forward more clearly.

Also we can work very hard to get somewhere and not even recognize that we've arrived. A good method to prevent that from happening is to visualize success. You discipline yourself to imagine what success will look like, how you will feel, and condition yourself for that moment. So that when you do get there, you'll experience what you knew you would, and you will be ready to recognize and celebrate!

Do you deserve to rest?

Do you find yourself working hard so that you can deserve some time to rest? That sounds very normal, but its actually a trick question. You should never be working hard so that you earn rest.

Rest is not a reward. Rest is a need!

You wouldn’t deprive yourself of food or sleep because you haven’t earned it. (Okay, well you might, but you can realistically look at that and say you can’t keep that up for long!)

Same with resting. You need nourishment, inspiration, enjoyment, rest, relaxation, and breaks. If you don’t take time to rest you can’t be productive when you're supposed to be, and you can’t put your heart and mind into your work because you just don’t have it in you. You are exhausted and depleted.

Sure, you can push yourself for a while, but eventually you will break down. Just like your body stops running without food, your inspiration and creativity will crash and die without proper nourishment.

So if you think you don’t deserve to rest. You are sadly mistaken and doing yourself a disservice. When you give yourself permission to rest, then you will have what you need in order to move your goals forward.

The other side of the coin

Focus is one of the keys to success. Without focus your attention is divided and whatever your doing won’t be your best work, or your best self. If you wish to be great at something, you must devote all your attention to that.

Which will require you to eliminate less important things. You have to discipline yourself to NOT do things.

You have to consciously say no to things that could be fun or interesting but not necessarily what is going to help you achieve your goals.

Instead of forcing yourself to do more, you are actually forcing yourself to do less.

Its a different side of the same coin

Who are those people?

Who are your champions? Who supports you? Your dreams, principles, lifestyle, goals. We all need people that believe in us. The people we can come to with a crazy dream, and they will be excited to help make it happen. Who has unwavering confidence in you? Who will stand by your side through any endeavor, believing that you can accomplish your goals? Who are they? Who are those people? Because you owe them the world.

Your world. 

A simple step to sticking with your new year resolutions

When your resolutions aren’t specific, it’s extremely difficult to stay true to them. Therefore, do NOT phrase your goals this way: Eat healthy and workout this year.

That means every day you skip the gym, every time you eat anything fried, you’ve failed. That makes for a lot of dismal failures and you become burnt out long before you finish the year.

A better way to write your goals: Workout 3x per week, and eat fruits or vegetables with every meal.

See the difference?

If you make goals that are specific as well as realistic, then you will feel guided and accomplished and you will stick more firmly to your resolutions as the year progresses.

Happy Goal Setting! :)

Why you have no idea what to do with your Life.

Does it seem like everyone has a different opinion for what you should do with your life? I was reading this book called I could do anything if I only knew what it was By Barbara Sher. I did an exercise in the book which revealed a lot to me. The author was explaining that our life goals and dreams are often veiled by what we believe is expected of us from others. We have a sense of obligation and responsibility to please certain people and their idea of what we should do with our life. Most often these expectations that we feel forced to, are subconscious. We don’t even realize they exist. So the exercise was to discover and write down what I thought everyone in my life wanted me to do with my future, whether they outrightly spoke of it, or not.

We tend to make assumptions that people are placing expectations on us, when often they actually don’t have an opinion. It’s not necessarily what these people actually want you to do that’s hindering you, it’s often what you think they want you to do.

So I started by making a list of people who were influential in my life. I then took each of those people and thought through my interactions with them. I analyzed deep down what I thought it was they wanted for me. In my mind, every one of those people had an opinion. and to my surprise, quite often a lot of their ideas and wishes for me conflicted. It was hilarious to see all the ridiculous assumptions I had made and how impossible it would be to follow through with them.

This exercise was extremely beneficial for me, because I was a people pleaser. I always wanted to be viewed well and I didn’t want to disappoint others. So I was desperately trying to please everyone (or so I thought) and being miserable myself in the process. All the subconscious conflicting messages I was receiving whether legitimate or not, were creating a significant amount of confusion and frustration in my life. I was so busy trying to follow the map supposedly outlined for me, that I hadn’t discovered what my true passion and purpose was.

Often we read into things too much. We don’t even realize it, but subconsciously we receive messages that we internalize as other’s wishes and desires for our life. We make assumptions which if put into words are laughable! Certain individual's actions and words unconsciously made you feel as though they had a veiled desire or purpose. But they were probably quite innocent and had no intention of projecting that idea upon you.

So take the time to recognize all the noise and confusion within yourself. Identify and discard those assumptions which you created in your own mind and that will free up space for you to discover your purpose.