Pretend Your Best

In piano performance, you never dwell on past mistakes. Once you've moved past that botched up section, or that measure where you hit only half the notes, you automatically forget the past, and continue forward with confidence. You never allow the mistakes previously in the piece to affect the rest of it. Seconds after  you stumbled, you forget so completely, it’s like it never happened. At the end of the piece, no matter what, you pretend as though it was your best performance.

Apply this principle to your life, and guaranteed you won't be as paralyzed by your past.

How To or How Not To?

If a gymnast wants to become elite, she would never dream of   spending hours analyzing and watching people who can’t even manage to do a cartwheel. No, she would intently study amazing gymnasts, those who knew exactly what they are doing and who could execute moves with skill.

She would watch enough of “This is how NOT to do it” to be aware of what bad form looks like, but she would never focus on that. She wouldn’t just watch those that are failing, and then try to succeed by doing things her own way with her own ideas and techniques. (Reinventing the wheel)

She would seek out good role models to emulate.

We as critical people have a tendency to do that though. We intently watch those who are doing things incorrectly, and determine that we certainly won’t be like them, but yet we fail to seek guidance from those who are doing things right. Sadly by being reactionary, we are only going to create our own version of “bad form”

Be aware of what not to do and learn from other’s mistakes. But focus on the methods which brought success to others and then pattern yourself after that. You will find results much quicker by observing and copying good, than you will by watching and reacting to the bad.

Pete The Perfectionist

I’d like you to meet someone. His name is Pete the Perfectionist. Now for him it’s not always about being perfect. Yes, he’s acutely aware of his faults and he works hard to change, however, he’s realistic enough to know that he’s not going to reach perfection. What starts to create the problems is when other people start to notice his imperfections. He want’s to feel completely in control and put together all the time, or at least when other’s can see it. The problem isn’t being perfect, it’s looking perfect.

Pete is self reliant because he equates having needs with looking weak.

He’s dishonest because he presents himself the way that he’d like to be, not the way he actually is.

He won’t try new things because he doesn’t want others to see him fail.

He has a social mask, and sometimes forget to take it off even around those he cares about most.

He’s embarrassed by mishaps and mistakes because he’d like to be completely capable.

Well Pete, First off, people don’t like to be around those who seem to be perfect. We feel inferior and inadequate. We also can’t relate to you. We need to see that you’re human. We want to identify with your struggles and needs, or else we don’t know how to connect.

Secondly, if you were perfect, there’d be nothing to talk about, laugh about or be surprised by. So when you:

  • Trip up the stairs
  • Make an embarrassing blunder
  • Wear your shirt inside out to work
  • Spill your drink all over yourself

Pete, this will show others that you are like them, that you do fail, that you aren’t perfect and that it’s okay.

But before you can do that, you must be okay for other’s to see your true self. Imperfect, and flawed but still valuable and wonderful.

How To Achieve Your Perfect Wedding Day

The Bridal Magazines always talk about your perfect wedding day. Unfortunately, they’ve got it wrong. Perfect is boring. On your 25th wedding anniversary, your family and friends won’t reminisce about how the limousine arrived on time, the seating arrangements were perfect, the napkins matched the tablecloths, and the music selection was flawless.

No, they’ll tell the stories of what happened that wasn’t according to plan. The mistakes that stressed you out most on your wedding day will be the things that you and others will laugh about and remember.

How the best man, and father of the bride were late to walk the bride down the aisle.

The church candle lit a small fire in the auditorium.

A groomsman passed out during the ceremony.

The bridesmaids shoes dyed the bottom of the wedding dress.

The pianist played the wrong processional piece

These are the stories that will be remembered, that will bring joy and laughter as people remember all the mishaps.

It’s a happy reminder that although a wedding is a sacred ceremony, It’s also just a gathering of people. Of family and friends who are awkward, funny, real, quirky and wonderful.

Although it seems horribly unfortunate that such things could happen on YOUR special day, that’s much closer to the perfect day you should be looking for. Your perfect wedding day is not the flawless day that the magazines portray. It’s your own day full of happy memories. Hey those brides are all airbrushed anyways ;)