I’d like you to meet someone. His name is Pete the Perfectionist. Now for him it’s not always about being perfect. Yes, he’s acutely aware of his faults and he works hard to change, however, he’s realistic enough to know that he’s not going to reach perfection.
What starts to create the problems is when other people start to notice his imperfections. He want’s to feel completely in control and put together all the time, or at least when other’s can see it. The problem isn’t being perfect, it’s looking perfect.
Pete is self reliant because he equates having needs with looking weak.
He’s dishonest because he presents himself the way that he’d like to be, not the way he actually is.
He won’t try new things because he doesn’t want others to see him fail.
He has a social mask, and sometimes forget to take it off even around those he cares about most.
He’s embarrassed by mishaps and mistakes because he’d like to be completely capable.
Well Pete, First off, people don’t like to be around those who seem to be perfect. We feel inferior and inadequate. We also can’t relate to you. We need to see that you’re human. We want to identify with your struggles and needs, or else we don’t know how to connect.
Secondly, if you were perfect, there’d be nothing to talk about, laugh about or be surprised by. So when you:
- Trip up the stairs
- Make an embarrassing blunder
- Wear your shirt inside out to work
- Spill your drink all over yourself
Pete, this will show others that you are like them, that you do fail, that you aren’t perfect and that it’s okay.
But before you can do that, you must be okay for other’s to see your true self. Imperfect, and flawed but still valuable and wonderful.